April feelin’

The hardest thing about running is probably navigating the highs and lows of the sport.

I am glad I am finally leaving a dark period behind. It’ll take a whole huge effort but as always, if I can approach it with the right mindset, it’ll be worth. Hey, that’s running: at some point it’s going to be up to you to find a way.

2017-2018 were two massive years in terms of results, training targets and experiences, but I failed to acknowledge that cracks beneath the surface were appearing. The not-enough approach surely keeps you hungry but is not always the right one.

When you manage to keep the momentum going you tend to ignore the signs of deficit. At least, I do. I never learned to rest – that’s the problem: rest properly. Again, “not enough”.

Training well is quite easy: ticking off the miles, one good result after another, adding one more lap on top of a workout. Looking forward to training and racing, everything falling into place, until it’s not.

You find yourself wondering about the goodness of your choices, the meaning of your priorities– you find yourself “fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way” in a melancholic discomfort. Thoughts are fed by actions in a rock solid loop of negativity and disorientation. Then there are the lone miles on the bike, racing the sunset, the cold laps in the pool, the back and forth from the doctors and specialists, the wait.

I lost the magic of it, I didn’t even look forward to resuming running in its simplest form: picking yourself up and emptying the mind and the legs on a forest trail. No times, no racing, no people, no nothing.

The awareness you’re worth something, beside running, is important. There’s a lot more beyond that.

Injuries suck, but running – and cycling – are great.


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